Jan Ullrich shared his experiences of depression during an interview on Real Madrid player Toni Kroos’ “Einfach mal Luppen” podcast. The German cyclist, winner of the Tour de France in 1997 and notorious rival of Lance Armstrong, spoke about the difficult moments of his career as he marked the launch of his new documentary on Amazon Prime.
Motivation through children
Lance Armstrong’s great rival commented on his depression as follows: “I was depressed. I had to stop what I was doing. I had to get back to normal, to life.”
“I thought I was completely defeated, but I told myself I couldn’t go on like this. I have four children. They motivated me, because I completely gave up on myself. Without my kids, I probably wouldn’t be here today.”
Doping was not frowned upon, as it is nowadays
Ullrich told the Real Madrid player that everything was seen differently in his time and that, therefore, he did not feel guilty about what he did.
“Doping is frowned upon nowadays. Everyone knows what it is, but back then it wasn’t like that. Today I feel guilty, but back then I couldn’t control it. It was on the list of banned substances, but it could not be uncontrolled.”
“At that time it wasn’t a crime (for Ullrich), it was an equalizer of opportunities. You didn’t feel guilty because you knew the people you were fighting with were also using. You didn’t think you were doing anything wrong.”
Consequences were disastrous
However, the consequences of his actions were serious, he revealed: “Suddenly you lose everything. I lost everything I accumulated over decades, friends, family, contacts… Everyone goes on with their life when you fall, and that hurts a lot.”
“You wonder why it is like this when you haven’t done anything different to many others. Suddenly they abandon you and you have to stand up on your own.”
“You no longer talk to friends, but to lawyers. You are lost and can no longer protect yourself”, concluded Jan Ullrich.
